Monthly Archives

February 2015

Like Magazine

Confessions of a Good But Often Crappy Mother

February 23, 2015
Stepford Wife

It’s difficult to pinpoint the moment I turned into a stereotypical mother and wife. As a teenager I sneered at my own mothers willingness to cook, clean, take my crap and drop cliches into every conversation.

I promised myself I’d be different; I’d travel the U.S. in a campervan and paint every room in my house black, but twenty years, a husband and three kids later I’ve become a Stepford Wife – albeit an incredibly bad one.

Things I swore I wouldn’t do when I became a wife and mother:

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True Romance

What is love? Baby don’t hurt me no more.

February 16, 2015

Valentines

If you scrape away a few layers of dry shampoo and sarcasm you’ll find a romantic in recovery. I’ve never been a fan of chick lit or rom-coms and I dislike Disney princesses and all that pink shite intensely. Luckily for me I ended up with a house full of boys. I’m definitely not a ladette though (coining that phrase shows my age).  When a romantic film is done right… it kills me, goosebumps, snots and tears. I suppose anything with Ryan Gosling or Ben Affleck in it although that may have nothing to do with the plot.

The first movie to send my teenage hormones into overdrive was The Breakfast Club. When John Bender gave Claire his earring I felt a physical pain in my chest and cried my eyes out. Twenty-odd years of cynicism later and I hope Claire had the sense to get herself to a good college and didn’t end up in a trailer park raring Bender babies. Now that I think of it, she did do that thing with the lipstick, so maybe a career in porn awaited her. Either way John seemed a tad unstable and did come from a line of violent men. Why are these dangerous guys always so attractive to our fragile young selves? Look at Dirty Dancing… Johnny Castle was and is a joy to look at. Oooooh the danger, his clothes are obscenely tight, he smashes his car window with a pole and he sleeps with old ladies for cash and Baby is almost always in awe and slightly frightened of him.

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Musings

Welcome to Fazed and Confused!

February 16, 2015
David Wooderson

My husband says that when I talk on the phone, I do 80% of the talking so I figure it’s kinder for me to blog my monologue than subject my friends and family to it. You’re welcome!